♥ Tuesday, June 23, 2009,6:53 AM
gd morning .. here i am bck 2 blog abt wats been happening in my lyf ..
first of all,i wld like 2 apologise 2 my 'irritating fren' coz i've not been updating ..
gbeen bz la .. hehe ..
anyways,i've not been in contact wit her 4 almost a wk ..
n tats kind of break d record ..
simply said,i dun give a SHIT abt wats happening in her life ..
who she will b wit ..
coz basically d nxt person goin wit her is only getting my sloppy shit ..
so,i got nothing 2 lose ..
well,skool's fine so far ..
currently doin casino management part 1 module ..
an interesting module ..
its all abt learning hw ppl cheat in d casino n win BIG money ..
work has never been any better ..
wit my lil bro der working wit me ..
it's so fun ..
i juz felt tat ever since he left my house 2 stay at sin ming ..
i lost d happy moments we used 2 have ..
n nw its payback tym ..
so 'irritating fren' .. i hope u dun tink differently if i were 2 tell u tat i wana spend tym wit my bro ..
aft all tat has happened .. i noe ur never gonna trust me anymore ..
its ok .. coz i can't possibly force u 2 ..
i guess tats abt all ..
i'm feeling sleepy coz i've not been sleeping well 4 d past few days ..
duno y d hell m i having insomnia ..
will b bck 2 pen dwn my tots real soon ...
♥ Wednesday, June 3, 2009,12:18 PM
peace b upon d readers of my blog ..
i'm bck again aft so long of not blogging ..
d reason y .. i juz haf no idea on wat 2 blog abt ..
well .. i sat 4 my finance paper on mon ..
n guess wat .. i was able 2 do it ..
but i was stuck on profit & loss account ..
like wat d hell ..
been revising n practising on it ..
i guess it was d exam jitters ..
goodness .. i was filled wit anxiety ..
my heart was thumping so fast ..
even my classmates saw how nervous i was ..
lucky,i didn't freak out ..
hell yeah ..
aft all,i hope i manage 2 get a pass ..
coz i tink i'm gonna lose alot of marks in section b ..
its ok shah ..
wats done has past ..
i still haf 2 more papers ..
tmr will b business op ..
which will b another obstacle ..
n fri will b marketing ..
oh shit .. pray i can do it ..
well,aft fri .. i dun haf 2 worry anymore ..
bck 2 skool 4 new module ..
tat is tourism industry ..
my 'irritating fren' has done dat module ..
so,if i haf any probs .. i surely can run 2 her ..
haha ... i will irritate her 4 sure ..
was at her plc al d way ..
spent tym wit her ..
tings r ok on d surface ..
but god noes wat is goin on behind my back ..
but i simply dun care anymore ..
coz 2 me all tat r not important ..
like wat rif's gf said ..
pple tend 2 b interested in my 2nd hand goods ..
haha ..
her words made me smile 4rm ear 2 ear ..
had a nice chat wit her on tues nite ..
she's so supporting me ..
asked me 2 get up on my feet n b d lil bro i was ..
she dun wan anymore girls 2 take advantage of me ..
n she even said tat those 2 r not worth bein frens wit ..
she made me realise tat der r lots of pple loving me still ..
n i told her i MUST not let any1 dwn ..
a BIG thank u 4 ur support dasao ..
i love u n bro dearly ..
not forgetting my lil bro spike n partner ..
thanx a million ..
n adeq sity 2 ..
u guys mean so much 2 me ..
who m i without all of u ..
mama,abg,rif n partner .. spike n partner .. adeq sity n family ..
i finally get a job ..
n diz tym i'm gonna wrk hard n do u proud mama ..
i wil not let u dwn anymore ..
coz no matter hw bad i m ..
u still love me d way u do ..
no other mum can replace d place i haf 4 u ..
ur my PRECIOUS LOVE ..
n ur love is d greatest of all ..
'u treat me like a rose .. u gif me room 2 grow
u shone d light of love on me .. n gave me air so i can breathe ..
u open doors tat close in d worl where anyting goes ..
u give me strength so i stand tall .. within diz bed of earth juz like a ROSE'
tats 4 mama ..
i love u dear mum ..
guess tats abt it now ..
mayb i'll come bck 2 blog again in d eve ..
so long,goodbye ....
♥ Tuesday, May 26, 2009,5:26 PM
'aku adalah insan yg tak punya .. cuma rasa cinta membara'
tats wat reali relates 2 me now ..
i received a letter 4rm Changi Women Prison ..
informing me abt gucci's transfer ..
i'm wondering hw she's doin ..
hw her health .. n all ..
i'm waiting 4 her letter but i dun seem 2 get it frm her ..
need 2 visit her a.s.a.p ..
but i'm afraid dey will not allow me 2 visit her coz i'm not her next-of-kin ..
i miss gucci though .. watever it is,i still consider her my gf ..
coz i duno wat we r since we can't keep in touch at all after her bein detained ..
life is so complicated .. n love reali sucks big time ..
afraid of bein in n out of love ..
juz wish i cld run away frm everyting ..
or get involve in an accident n lose my memory ..
ppl say watever we mention is kind of doa ..
2 me,i dun mind ..
coz it'll b better 4 me 2 lose my memory ..
n aft tat i start life anew ..
won't it b so much better ??
i can b like a newborn who juz stepped in diz world ..
but tats all wishful tinkking on my part ..
now .. me n luckygal seldom msg ..
seldom tok on d fone ..
it seems lyk she wans 2 budget on her hp bills ..
but wen her abg or any1 else msg ..
fuyoo .. dgn pantas leh reply ..
wat d fcuk is tat ??
she's 1 girl i can never unds ..
full of mysteries .. so unsure of wat her feelings are ..
i'm beginning 2 lose faith in her,me n our status ..
guess wat 'irritating fren' ..
diz whole damn ting is affecting me so much tat sumting actuali happened ..
diz aftnoon i was wit mak n adeq ..
we were having late lunch ..
adeq made sandwich 4 us .. i'm so pampered here ..
so,here goes ..
i wanted 2 take out a bottle of drink frm d fridge ..
tot it was plain water so i took out syrup frm d cabinet ..
den adeq asked me ..
adeq: shah,wat r u trying to do ?
me: i'm pouring syrup 2 make us a drink la ..
adeq: hey,u took out d bottle tat i oredi mixed wit syrup ..
me (to my dismay) huh ?? serious ??
adeq: shah,wats wrong wit u ?? not bein urself ..
mak: tu la .. lau da kena tggl dgn pompan n kwn2 main blakang da ilang akal anak aku ni ..
i juz kept my mouth shut n went out 2 d living room ..
i've never been lyk diz ..
not even wen i broke up wit my ex who was spike's akak sdare ..
'irritating fren' .. nw u noe y i'm so distracted ??
hmmm ... i'm goin tru d lowest point of my life nw ..
but i'm sure i'll get out of it n prove tat i'm not useless ..
keep on supporting me k loved ones ..
-confusion-
